Interesting point of view

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Author	Comment
Trixie850	Interesting point of view	Lead	[-]
Posts: 909 (17/09/08 16:50) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Tags : None I've just read this online article from my local paper. Now bear in mind that the Isle of Man has to be one of the most childcentric places in the whole world which is what makes this so interesting. Maybe the backlash is happening here too? http://www.iomtoday.co.im...me-the-parents.4494751.jp And obviously I had to add my two penneth worth: At last! Someone willing to stand up and acknowledge that there are some absolutely awful kids out there, due to bad parenting! How refreshing! I think this fairly recent problem lies with society today in which there seems to be an "all hail the child" mentality. It almost seems acceptable these days for kids to be spoilt, rude, generally run riot and you can guarantee they know their rights - but none of their responsibilities. Woe betide you if you actually say anything to the parent - cue a tirade of abuse about their "little darling". To these parents - and sorry, but it needs to be put bluntly - the world does not begin and end with your kids. You might love them - but not everyone else does! Maybe it's time to have some thought for other people out there. Maybe if they were less indulged and treated less like demi gods, then we may just stand a chance of producing a decent, responsible future generation. The fact is, a lots of kids' behaviour has gotten so bad (in the UK, and it's only a matter of time before we get it here too), that I'm starting to see a backlash from people (both parents and non parents) that are quite frankly sick to the back teeth of having to grin and bear this awful behaviour. Like Nick from Onchan, I'm not old - I'm 35, but have seen a real decline in parenting standards over recent years. What happened to kids giving up their seats on the bus? Saying "please" and thank you"? It's only basic stuff but these are things that I, and most of my generation, was brought up to do. It seems like the responsible parents like the poster above (with the 6yr old girl) are sadly in the minority these days, which is a real shame. I'll now sit back and wait for the indignant posts from the so-called parents mentioned above (who will doubtless recognise themselves and their kids' behaviour in what I've written) telling me how I know nothing because I don't have kids, or how it's the hardest job in the world, or how "kids will be kids" (which is the lamest excuse I've heard), or how wonderful little Timmy really is, etc, etc. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm not interested in such excuses and I'll have doubtless heard them all before! If you're so keen to demonstrate how wonderful your kid is, then PLEASE teach him/her to behave appropriately in public!
Leela		#1	[-]
Posts: 4280 (17/09/08 17:04) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Well put Trixie, I hope they publish it. I've always thought that if it really "takes a village to raise a child" then the village has perfect a right to speak up if that child is misbehaving.
Trixie850		#2	[-]
Posts: 909 (18/09/08 11:14) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	They published it! I'll wait for the breeder backlash now.....
Mrs Mars Bar		#3	[-]
Posts: 8125 (18/09/08 11:15) *Owner and general nice person!* Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	This was a good article and an excellent reply darling. I do believe people are now beginning to be more outspoken with badly behaved children.
HighlandCoffee		#4	[-]
Posts: 1108 (18/09/08 11:16) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	They published it Trixie-well done and well put. Can't wait to see the replies from BNPs though as they pathetically attempt to excuse their utter lack of parenting, their failure to raise decent humans and their self obsession and selfishness. I wonder if they realise to the CF and PNBs that such ramblings make them the modern day entertainment equivalent of the asylumn inmates that people used to pay to watch.
italygirl		#5	[-]
Posts: 282 (18/09/08 16:45) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Trixie, that's a great post! I think we are going to see less and less toleration of bad behaviour and poor parenting. The situation is now so bad that even people who adore kids have had enough of the little bastards.
pudontour		#6	[-]
Posts: 1279 (18/09/08 16:46) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Great article and a fantastic reply trixie As my dad said to me the other day regarding badly behaved children, "it's just like dogs, there's no such thing as a bad dog, it's down to the bad owners and the same goes for children". I agree with the mother of the well behaved six year old too - people do often treat children as being incapable. I treat children as if they are adults, so will say 'excuse me' to a child that's in the way. I find children respond much better if you don't ignore them, or worse, talk to them in sqeaky childish voices: "look at the doggy woggy" etc, but talk to them just like I would to anyone. childfree - yippeeee!
Leela		#7	[-]
Posts: 4280 (18/09/08 17:53) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Some years ago when I was less child-phobic, I spent the day at a friend's house helping her with her badly overgrown garden. She had a son - I think he was about eight at the time so he was at that nice curious stage, before they get mouthy! Anyway, he was great - really interested in helping us and what we were doing. There were two small ponds, one was heavily populated by frogs so we were moving some of them to the other pond, and at first he was terrified of them (up until then he'd lived in a flat in a tower block, I don't think he'd seen a frog before!) so I just reassured him that they were harmless and quite sweet and within minutes he was carefully picking them up and moving them. The point of this story is that, at the end of the day, my friend was really impressed by how well I'd got along with her son (she knew I wasn't really into kids) and how he'd warmed to me - especially trusting me about the frog thing. "You treated him like an adult, it was brilliant" were her words. I could only think that I didn't know how ELSE to treat him - I hadn't a clue about kids and don't know how else to treat another human but as an adult!
Trixie850		#8	[-]
Posts: 909 (18/09/08 18:40) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	That's a very good point, Leela. I also think the key is actually spending time with them and listening to what they have to say. Too many parents seem to be so caught up with other things that they have no time for their kids any more. Why have them if you're not going to spend time with them?
mojito chick		#9	[-]
Posts: 2668 (19/09/08 11:51) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	pudontour wrote: I agree with the mother of the well behaved six year old too - people do often treat children as being incapable. I treat children as if they are adults, so will say 'excuse me' to a child that's in the way. I find children respond much better if you don't ignore them, or worse, talk to them in sqeaky childish voices: "look at the doggy woggy" etc, but talk to them just like I would to anyone. me too! Great comments Trixie!
Stedders1975		#10	[-]
Posts: 924 (19/09/08 21:14) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Praise all round. As for Leela's point, I ALWAYS expect that I can talk to my students as if they are adults. By the age of 11, they should be able to converse properly, so why shouldn't we expect it of them? Stedders
furrynumnah		#11	[-]
Posts: 124 (19/09/08 21:48) Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Leela wrote: Some years ago when I was less child-phobic, I spent the day at a friend's house helping her with her badly overgrown garden. She had a son - I think he was about eight at the time so he was at that nice curious stage, before they get mouthy! Actually, for all that I hate kids and am freaked out by babies, I quite enjoy being with them between about 6-9 years old - they're in a great phase when (if they're intelligent and properly brought up) they're more like mini adults - so keen to learn and still respect adults. I have a friend who is the ultimate anti-moo (I think her children have more or less brought themselves up - horsey kids raised on a farm), and her son, Angus - who is 9 - is just about one of the most fun people (adults included) I know - veeeery clever, astute and soaks up knowledge like a sponge - I could genuinely spend all day with him and not get bored. However, I think it's more because I think of him and treat him like a mini adult than a child - people who know my views on kids are always surprised that I get on with him so well, but I think he likes me (and I like him) because I don't patronise or degrade him - I treat him like the adult he will one day be and he responds to my civilised bahviour my not being brattish (and believe me, he can be with other people). Aaaack - I just admitted to liking a child - I'm going to get my CF membership card impounded. Seriously, though, I think this is where things go wrong - the much-maligned 'cult of the child' disallows the fact that treating children like people will make them behave like people and not horrible little emperors.
Monk San		#12	[-]
Posts: 5172 (20/09/08 18:55) Moderator Reply Quote More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts Report Post	Well spotted Trixie, and excellent reply. The kind of parent that doesn't discipline their child, wants to be it's mate and doesn't want to take responsibility for helping it to develop is exactly the kind of parent that is the first to stick their hand out for this benefit or that advantage. It's about time that, as a society, we stopped indulging their appalling behaviour. You are an angel heading for a land of sunshine. Fortune is smiling upon you.